[Prefect can probably hear the sounds of thumping before Barron opens the door, minus a shirt and shoes, not to mention sporting some cuts that are bleeding quite a bit.]
[It's probably sad that Barron has to point this out. Still, he goes and sits down on his bed.] It was that box. I broke it when I was halfway in between being a cat and being a person again.
[To all of the above, which is all Barron's going to say about that. Because he hasn't forgotten the Lila thing and he doesn't want to think too hard about it.] I just can't get to some of the cuts myself, so I thought you could help. If it's not too gross for you.
[Prefect retrieves some antiseptic, and some latex gloves, and even though this is all quite gross, he still squirts some of the antiseptic cream out onto his fingers, and reaching to carefully start applying it to Barron's injuries.]
A purpose that you forgot. Just like you forgot her.
[Prefect dips into the first aid kit and retrieves a bandage, before reaching forward to press it over one of the disinfected cuts.]
It's all right for you to feel conflicted about this, Comrade. It's all right for you to feel guilty about it as well. If you want to talk about it, then you don't need to defend what you did to her. I'm not going to punish you for being honest.
[Which is half a lie and half not, since he remembers how now, but forgot her so often at the time. At the very least, Barron has the good grace to look uncomfortable about it.]
What if I told you that I'd do it all over again? What would you think about that?
[Barron doesn't know if he would, but he wants to see how Prefect reacts.]
You forgot to feed her, Barron. Forgot that you had a cat.
[Prefect frowns, drawing his brows in at Barron's question.]
I think if you told me that... I might not entirely believe you? [He pauses, then quickly adds:]
But if it was the truth, I think I wouldn't understand why. In the end, doing what you did... even if you don't regret the people you hurt, Comrade? It really damaged your relationship with your brothers, it made Zacharov's daughter your enemy, it revealed Cassel as a transformation worker in the worst possible way... I don't know why you wouldn't want things to go differently.
[Which he forgot to look at. After spending his own time in a small, dank box, Barron has more appreciation for just how awful that must have been for Lila. Some of it probably shows on his face. Feeling bad, what is this?]
Things were pretty bad, but they could have been worse. I could have died. Cassel could have died.
You still forgot her. Even with your notes and your journals, Comrade. Even setting aside what's just happened, doesn't that worry you?
[Prefect carefully presses a second bandage over one of the larger injuries on Barron's torso.]
It's not enough to just survive, Comrade. You should be able to look back on the choices you've made and be happy with them. Be happy with the things that have happened to you. [He gives Barron an earnest look.] It's okay, Comrade, if you're not happy with them. It's okay to change your opinions about these things, Comrade.
You don't need to talk yourself out of having regrets.
[If only because it was the type of thing that Cassel was never going to let go and Barron was probably never going to get a chance to take it out of his head.]
[Barron sighs, picking at one of his cuts.] What's the point of having regrets? They don't get you anywhere.
Maybe she wouldn't forgive you then, Comrade, but don't you think it might give her some kind of comfort to know that you understand that what you did was wrong? That you feel bad about it even if the two of you will never make amends?
You can't give her back the years that you took from her, Comrade. She is who she is now, and she had to suffer and struggle to become that person. If you make her forget, then you're taking that person away from her as well.
[Prefect goes to take Barron's hand, and just... guide it away from the new cut he's picking at.]
It's like these cuts, Comrade. If you leave them alone, then they'll hurt, and they'll annoy you for a while, but with time? They'll heal. If you keep picking at them though, then every time they start getting better, you'll just make them worse and worse.
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timeasmymeasure
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-14 11:24 am (UTC)It's not as bad as it looks.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-14 11:26 am (UTC)[Prefect blurts out, alarmed]
Go sit down, Comrade! How did this happen?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-15 09:14 am (UTC)[It's probably sad that Barron has to point this out. Still, he goes and sits down on his bed.] It was that box. I broke it when I was halfway in between being a cat and being a person again.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-15 09:45 am (UTC)[Prefect sits down opposite Barron, opening the first aid kit.] And... you got stuck in that box? Is this why you think it was Karma?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-15 09:49 am (UTC)[To all of the above, which is all Barron's going to say about that. Because he hasn't forgotten the Lila thing and he doesn't want to think too hard about it.] I just can't get to some of the cuts myself, so I thought you could help. If it's not too gross for you.
[Om nom, attempt at a subject change.]
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-15 09:56 am (UTC)[Prefect retrieves some antiseptic, and some latex gloves, and even though this is all quite gross, he still squirts some of the antiseptic cream out onto his fingers, and reaching to carefully start applying it to Barron's injuries.]
What... what was it like, Comrade?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 08:24 am (UTC)I got pretty thirsty and it was pretty dark.
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Date: 2012-10-16 10:57 am (UTC)[Prefect's gloved hand stills on one of the cuts on Barron's chest.]
Did this made you think much about Lila?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 10:59 am (UTC)[Blood in the corridors is never a good look. He shrugs at the mention of Lila.] I suppose so. It was a bit hard not to, you know?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 11:04 am (UTC)How do you feel about what happened to her now?
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 11:08 am (UTC)Not good, obviously.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 11:15 am (UTC)We've talked a lot about how your power is harmful to you, Brother. I guess we've spent less time on how it's harmful to others.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-16 11:32 am (UTC)She was harmed for a purpose. It wasn't meaningless.
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Date: 2012-10-16 11:38 am (UTC)[Prefect dips into the first aid kit and retrieves a bandage, before reaching forward to press it over one of the disinfected cuts.]
It's all right for you to feel conflicted about this, Comrade. It's all right for you to feel guilty about it as well. If you want to talk about it, then you don't need to defend what you did to her. I'm not going to punish you for being honest.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-18 09:55 am (UTC)[Which is half a lie and half not, since he remembers how now, but forgot her so often at the time. At the very least, Barron has the good grace to look uncomfortable about it.]
What if I told you that I'd do it all over again? What would you think about that?
[Barron doesn't know if he would, but he wants to see how Prefect reacts.]
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-18 10:18 am (UTC)[Prefect frowns, drawing his brows in at Barron's question.]
I think if you told me that... I might not entirely believe you? [He pauses, then quickly adds:]
But if it was the truth, I think I wouldn't understand why. In the end, doing what you did... even if you don't regret the people you hurt, Comrade? It really damaged your relationship with your brothers, it made Zacharov's daughter your enemy, it revealed Cassel as a transformation worker in the worst possible way... I don't know why you wouldn't want things to go differently.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-18 10:31 am (UTC)[Which he forgot to look at. After spending his own time in a small, dank box, Barron has more appreciation for just how awful that must have been for Lila. Some of it probably shows on his face. Feeling bad, what is this?]
Things were pretty bad, but they could have been worse. I could have died. Cassel could have died.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-19 12:10 am (UTC)[Prefect carefully presses a second bandage over one of the larger injuries on Barron's torso.]
It's not enough to just survive, Comrade. You should be able to look back on the choices you've made and be happy with them. Be happy with the things that have happened to you. [He gives Barron an earnest look.] It's okay, Comrade, if you're not happy with them. It's okay to change your opinions about these things, Comrade.
You don't need to talk yourself out of having regrets.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-21 10:32 am (UTC)[If only because it was the type of thing that Cassel was never going to let go and Barron was probably never going to get a chance to take it out of his head.]
[Barron sighs, picking at one of his cuts.] What's the point of having regrets? They don't get you anywhere.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-22 01:55 am (UTC)[He reaches out to... gently push Barron's hand away from the cut he's picking at. No Barron.]
: [Spam]
Date: 2012-10-23 04:12 am (UTC)You don't know Lila, though. She's not the kind to accept amends, unless by amends you mean my head being completely separate from my body.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-23 11:25 am (UTC)[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-24 02:32 am (UTC)[Barron is disturbingly honest with that sentiment.]
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-24 02:50 am (UTC)[Prefect goes to take Barron's hand, and just... guide it away from the new cut he's picking at.]
It's like these cuts, Comrade. If you leave them alone, then they'll hurt, and they'll annoy you for a while, but with time? They'll heal. If you keep picking at them though, then every time they start getting better, you'll just make them worse and worse.
[Spam]
Date: 2012-10-24 03:43 am (UTC)These are my cuts, man. Besides, they itch.
[And back on topic.] Would it be worth it if she was happier, though?
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