sharpememory | [37] - [Voice. Private

Are you all right? Should I contact the infirmary?

I'll be there in a minute...

No! No infirmary. I don't want to see any of them. Just bring a first aid kit or something, it's not too bad.

What? What happened, Comrade?

[But he's coming! Him and his first aid kit and his worries.]

I blame the flood. [A pause.] Do you believe in karma?

I don't know.

[And it's at that moment that Prefect reaches Barron's room, and knocks on the door. He's carrying... a slightly overstocked first aid kit.]

[Prefect can probably hear the sounds of thumping before Barron opens the door, minus a shirt and shoes, not to mention sporting some cuts that are bleeding quite a bit.]

It's not as bad as it looks.

But comrade it looks really bad!

[Prefect blurts out, alarmed]

Go sit down, Comrade! How did this happen?

I wasn't drunk when it happened.

[It's probably sad that Barron has to point this out. Still, he goes and sits down on his bed.] It was that box. I broke it when I was halfway in between being a cat and being a person again.

You were a cat, Comrade?

[Prefect sits down opposite Barron, opening the first aid kit.] And... you got stuck in that box? Is this why you think it was Karma?

Yeah.

[To all of the above, which is all Barron's going to say about that. Because he hasn't forgotten the Lila thing and he doesn't want to think too hard about it.] I just can't get to some of the cuts myself, so I thought you could help. If it's not too gross for you.

[Om nom, attempt at a subject change.]

It's not too gross, Comrade.

[Prefect retrieves some antiseptic, and some latex gloves, and even though this is all quite gross, he still squirts some of the antiseptic cream out onto his fingers, and reaching to carefully start applying it to Barron's injuries.]

What... what was it like, Comrade?

[Oh gosh, those latex gloves are giving Barron feelings. Time to ignore them!]

I got pretty thirsty and it was pretty dark.

Have you had water since you got out? Have you eaten?

[Prefect's gloved hand stills on one of the cuts on Barron's chest.]

Did this made you think much about Lila?

I had something to drink. I'll head up to the dining hall once I clean up.

[Blood in the corridors is never a good look. He shrugs at the mention of Lila.] I suppose so. It was a bit hard not to, you know?

[Prefect goes back to slowly disinfecting your cuts, Barron.]

How do you feel about what happened to her now?

[There's a fairly consistent lack of eye contact going on with Barron at the moment.]

Not good, obviously.

[Prefect moves up to one of the cuts around Barron's collar bone, and smooths some antiseptic over it with a deliberate care.]

We've talked a lot about how your power is harmful to you, Brother. I guess we've spent less time on how it's harmful to others.

[Barron flinches, but it's mainly at Prefect touching his cut.]

She was harmed for a purpose. It wasn't meaningless.

A purpose that you forgot. Just like you forgot her.

[Prefect dips into the first aid kit and retrieves a bandage, before reaching forward to press it over one of the disinfected cuts.]

It's all right for you to feel conflicted about this, Comrade. It's all right for you to feel guilty about it as well. If you want to talk about it, then you don't need to defend what you did to her. I'm not going to punish you for being honest.

I didn't forget her.

[Which is half a lie and half not, since he remembers how now, but forgot her so often at the time. At the very least, Barron has the good grace to look uncomfortable about it.]

What if I told you that I'd do it all over again? What would you think about that?

[Barron doesn't know if he would, but he wants to see how Prefect reacts.]

You forgot to feed her, Barron. Forgot that you had a cat.

[Prefect frowns, drawing his brows in at Barron's question.]

I think if you told me that... I might not entirely believe you? [He pauses, then quickly adds:]

But if it was the truth, I think I wouldn't understand why. In the end, doing what you did... even if you don't regret the people you hurt, Comrade? It really damaged your relationship with your brothers, it made Zacharov's daughter your enemy, it revealed Cassel as a transformation worker in the worst possible way... I don't know why you wouldn't want things to go differently.

I had notes.

[Which he forgot to look at. After spending his own time in a small, dank box, Barron has more appreciation for just how awful that must have been for Lila. Some of it probably shows on his face. Feeling bad, what is this?]

Things were pretty bad, but they could have been worse. I could have died. Cassel could have died.

You still forgot her. Even with your notes and your journals, Comrade. Even setting aside what's just happened, doesn't that worry you?

[Prefect carefully presses a second bandage over one of the larger injuries on Barron's torso.]

It's not enough to just survive, Comrade. You should be able to look back on the choices you've made and be happy with them. Be happy with the things that have happened to you. [He gives Barron an earnest look.] It's okay, Comrade, if you're not happy with them. It's okay to change your opinions about these things, Comrade.

You don't need to talk yourself out of having regrets.

I guess so.

[If only because it was the type of thing that Cassel was never going to let go and Barron was probably never going to get a chance to take it out of his head.]

[Barron sighs, picking at one of his cuts.] What's the point of having regrets? They don't get you anywhere.

You can learn from your regrets, Comrade. You can make amends with people who you've hurt, and make better choices in the future.

[He reaches out to... gently push Barron's hand away from the cut he's picking at. No Barron.]

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